The Coffee Shop

                                                The Letter of Fate


When 8 AM arrives, it is time for the ritual of caffeine in my blood. I travel 30 minutes from home everyday to the coffee shop on Hughes Avenue. Why? Good question. It is like having a melancholy over-dramatic song stuck in my head 24/7. Thoughts of Rodger and I played in my mind, and I imagine people in nearby vehicles must think I was fucking insane for smiling so much. In the evenings of the long hot summers, we would take the boat out into the ocean. When the boat was anchored, we drank fine wine and made love with relaxing music playing in the background. We were children when we met; mere teenagers. Plans of marriage and children were on my mind, whereas, Rodger had plans of enlisting in the army. I never thought he would actually enlist, but when that day came I broke down. When he left for boot camp I refused to bid him goodbye. He completed two tours in Iraq and every time he came home to me I rejoiced for months. In the third and final tour, he was schedule to come home within two weeks. Three days before he was schedule to arrive home, we got news that he was shot and killed. For over a year I didn’t speak to anyone, and I hardly ate. My body looked fragile and my face started to submerged into an old hags face. My parents convinced me to sign myself into one of those “special help facilities” a.k.a. a mental health faculty. I was poked and prodded for over three months, and every psychologist in the place counseled me. My parents came to visit me every Friday, and every Friday there was a fight. My mother was always overly controlling and my father always had the tendency to talk down to me. Psychologist Laura McKeon was the only psychologist I had any respect for. She eventually let me out of the hospital on the grounds of mild depression, and continued to counsel me. Magical happy pills were continuously being administered to me after my released. I eventually just stopped taking them, and was admitted for failure to decrease my dosage slowly before stopping altogether.

It’s a Sunday. There usually are more people on the weekends. I walked up to the register and ordered my usual iced latte from barista. As I sat in my car I watched all the couples go into the coffee shop. It seemed you could only enter two by two as if it were the arch. Rodgers family decided to burry him up state where they used to live. Hence, I rarely get to visit him. I have made several attempts at dating and had sexual relationships since Rodger. Every time I did it just felt so wrong. As if I was cheating on him.

7 PM. The orange coloration of the sun setting cascaded in the now dark blue sky. I could hear sounds of crickets and cars pulling into their driveways. I eventually fell asleep on my living room floor. The next few days were shit of course; customers asking for discounts, refunds, and where stuff could be located within the store even though we have banners that explain all that. On the way home, I stopped and picked up some cat food. Having three cats puts you out of cat food quite fast. Expecting bills, I had received a letter and a small black box in my mailbox instead. As I opened the door and placed the packages down on the ground I opened the letter and began to read it.

Dear Melody,
I hope this letter finds you well, and I hope you are in good health. You were the closet person to our family, and now we hardly see or talk to each other anymore. I know you are busy trying to put your life back together, and we are doing the same. I hope keeping this from you for so long does not affect you in a negative way, and I also hope that it does not bring back any memories and leave you in pain. The military placed this in Rodger’s father and my possession after he was killed. Rodger bought this for you, and planned on giving it to you when he arrived home. Plans of a marriage proposal were discussed between us. We didn’t want to tell you for surprise reasons, and after Rodger was killed we just didn’t have the heart to bring this to light. Please forgive us both, and please find this ring a proper use. Even though Rodger is not on this plane, and is not able to discuss it. I’m sure he would like it if you kept it.

Love always,
Mr. And Mrs. Williams

Tears spilled from my eyes, and as I opened the box I could feel them multiplying. It was beautiful. A pear shaped silver diamond. I slid it on my finger and inhaled. What was the point of this life if we couldn’t be with the person we loved? What was the point of living if we couldn’t stand it? I sat in the dark for what seemed like forever. I missed two calls from my parents, and I missed my episode of Wheel of Fortune. I finally got up and went into the kitchen. The cats began to meow as I approached the counter. I reached for the bottle of pills in the cabinet. Twisting the cap off, I took them in handfuls. I don’t really remember much after that. I just remember waking up in the hospital, my whole body was aching. Attempted suicide, great! Now they defiantly will commit me for sure. McKeon walked in followed by my parents. This was going to be a long conversation.